On Tuesday, parole officials released the transcripts of John Lennon‘s killer Mark David Chapman‘s latest hearing.

Chapman reportedly told parole officials during his latest unsuccessful bid for release that he is ashamed and sorry for gunning down the former Beatle and that, over the years, he has come to realize the gravity of what he did, and how it affected not only Lennon, but his wife, children and anybody who knew him.

He says:

“I recognized that that 25-year-old man, I don’t think he really appreciated the life that he was taking, that this was a human being. I feel now at 53 I have grown into a deeper understanding of what a human life is. I have changed a lot.”

He also told the parole board that he was seeking notoriety and fame to counter feelings of failure when he decided to kill Lennon.

“I would be something other than a nobody, and that was my reasoning at the time.”

Chapman has been in prison for nearly 28 years.

He was sentenced to 20 years to life after pleading guilty to the murder.

The parole board’s denial means he will remain in New York’s Attica Correctional Facility for at least two more years.

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